Reverend Gus
by blipblopblork
Summary: Do you have any idea why I just got a letter addressed to the Reverend Burton Guster? -- Shawn gets Gus ordained as a minister on the internet. Adorableness ensues. Implied Shules.


"Shawn!"

"Hang on a sec, I'm going for a high score here..." Shawn was gazing intently at his computer screen, where he was engaged in a riveting game of Tetris. Gus snuck up behind him and deftly reached over his shoulder to press the 'P' key and pause the game. He knew Shawn had seen the move coming and let him get away with it, and that Shawn knew that he knew, but Shawn erected a quick facade of mock anger and pouted nevertheless.

"Gu-uhssss..." Shawn whined, finally looking up from his screen. Gus sighed, not falling for the act, then cut to the chase.

"Do you have any idea why I just got a letter addressed to the Reverend Burton Guster?" Gus held up a large envelope, clearly addressed to one "Rev. Burton Guster", who apparently resided there at the Psych office.

"Oh, that. See, there's actually a second Burton Guster - well, third, if you include your uncle - who just happens to be a man of the cloth. But that's Bburton with two Bs, second one silent - there must have been a mix-up at the post office."

"Shawn..."

"Or maybe you snuck off and got yourself ordained sometime in between when we graduated from high school and that time when you ran off and got married with a goat for your best man, and have been living a double life fraught with secrecy and sacraments ever since?"

"Shawn." Gus was tapping his foot impatiently, but Shawn was having too much fun with this.

"Or mayyybe... you've actually been a priest all along and that 'pharmaceutical case'", Shawn raised his hands to form air quotes, "... that you lug around everywhere doesn't really contain drugs at all. I bet its actually full of Bibles, holy water, and those crunchy little wafer thingies. Speaking of which, I'm kind of hungry..."

"Shawn!"

Shawn looked up, startled - he had gone back to playing Tetris around the time when he introduced the concept of 'Bburton with two Bs', and now the screen flashed brightly with the 'Game Over' sign. 89,720 points. So close. Damn it.

"Okay, fine. I got you ordained on the internet. It was only 30 bucks and now you're a minister for life! You can get people to confess their deepest darkest secrets to you, officiate weddings, make people call you 'Father'..."

But Gus wasn't interested in the perks of his newly bestowed occupation. He was more concerned with the origins of the "_only_ 30 bucks".

"Since when do you have a credit card?"

"I don't." Shawn grinned mischievously, his smile wide enough that if it got any bigger, it threatened to break his face. Gus just sighed - that was thirty dollars he was never going to see again. He had a feeling there wasn't a lot of money in the fake minister business, especially if said minister was just ordained by his friend on a lark. But then again, he hadn't exactly expected the fake psychic business to be a booming industry either, yet he and Shawn had made out pretty well for themselves over the past few years.

"So are you going to tell me _why_ you decided it would be a good idea to drop $30 of _my_ hard-earned money on a piece of paper and a fancy title that I didn't earn and never wanted?" Gus slammed the still unopened envelope onto the desk. He wasn't _really_ mad. In fact, the name Rev. Guster kind of had a nice ring to it. But he couldn't let Shawn get the idea into his head that it was okay to swipe his credit card and order things on the internet whenever it struck his fancy. Not that Shawn didn't already have that idea in his head - Gus bit his lip as he recalled the eBay incident of 2004.

"Gus, don't be a piece of taffy-colored taffeta. That would ruin all the fun. You're one half of this psychic detective agency, use that magic head of yours and figure it out." Shawn was still grinning rabidly as he reached over and tore open the envelope, letting Gus's ordainment certificate slide out onto the table. It was actually rather pretty. _Man, I should've got one for myself too_. Shawn mused idly. _We could've hung them side by side in the office_.

Gus racked his brain for clues, playing the events of the last few minutes over in his mind. The picture was kind of grainy - he didn't have a memory like Shawn's, but he could recall most of what had been said. _Bburton with two Bs, second one silent_... no, that didn't have anything to do with anything. Gus shook his head. ..._Ran off and got married with a goat for your best man... don't be a piece of taffy-colored taffeta..._ Slowly the pieces were falling into place. _...you can officiate weddings..._

"Oh my god! You're getting married!" Suddenly, the thirty dollars didn't seem to matter so much any more. Gus scooped Shawn up into a giant bro hug. Shawn's still beaming smile confirmed that Gus's guess had been right on the mark.

"This is huge, Shawn. And you were just going to sit there and play Tetris until I figured it out?"

"Pretty much." Shawn shrugged, "I mean, I haven't actually asked her yet."

"She'll say yes, Shawn." It didn't take a psychic to see how head-over-heels in love Juliet and Shawn were with each other. This moment had been a long time coming, the only question had ever been whether Shawn would ever grow up enough to ask. Apparently, Shawn had finally decided to skip that part and just ask her anyways.

"I know." Shawn wasn't being cocky, just stating the truth as he saw it, just as he always did. "But before I can ask her, I have a question for you. See, back before we were even dating, Jules told me that she wanted to get married on a beach in Antigua, and I want to make that happen, but I have no idea how we'd find a priest out there, and since you're my best friend and I know how much you enjoy having two jobs..." Gus looked down. Shawn was on bended knee now, still rambling as he held out the mail order certificate and looked up hopefully at his best friend, though Gus was absolutely certain that the beginnings of a smirk were hiding behind those soulful puppy eyes.

"Burton Guster, will you do me the double honor of marrying me..." Shawn paused, stifling a giggle as he waited for Gus's reaction, "... to Juliet, not only in the capacity of my wedding officiant, but also my best man?"

Gus just laughed. "Shawn, you are ridiculous. You'd better have a better proposal than that planned out for Jules."

"So that's a yes then?"

Gus's face broke into a huge smile.

"You know that's right."


End file.
